Wednesday, June 19, 2013

GET THIS BITCH OUTTA HERE B.





HOLY SHIT.

THIS BITCH MANAGED TO USE EVERY SINGLE CURRENT CLICHE IN RAP MUSIC.


-"BOUT THAT LIFE"
-"TURN UP"
-TWERKING
-MOLLY (I KNOW SHE SAID MILEY BUT IT SOUND LIKE MOLLY)

FUCK THIS LITTLE COUNTRY SPRITE B. FOR REAL. MIKE WILL CASHED A GIGANTIC CHECK FOR THIS SHIT I KNOW IT AND HE GAVE THIS BITCH A FUCKIN BABY NIPPLE FUCKBOY CARTOON BEAT FOR A DISNEY CHANNEL SITCOM.

THIS SONG IS NOT SALVAGEABLE, THE SHIT IS FUCKIN STUPID BECAUSE VOCALLY MILEY AND HER LITTLE CHIPMUNK TWANG AIN'T BUILT FOR THIS TYPE OF SUBJECT MATTER AND YOU CAN'T BE UPLIFTING IF YOU TALKING ABOUT BIG BUTTS AND DOIN LINES IN THE BATHROOM. THAT'S DEBAUCHERY NIGGA. YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR LITTLE DAYCARE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR SPIN ON THE SHIT MA. CHILL.

THIS VIDEO WAS SALVAGEABLE THO. IT COULDA BEEN SOME EDGY SHIT B. THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THE SHIT WHICH IS YOUNG MULTIRACIAL NIGGAS IN AS LITTLE "COOL" CLOTHES AS POSSIBLE IS INHERENTLY EDGY... IF YOUR DEFINITION OF EDGY IS THE SAME AS MINE (FRIGHTENING TO CONSERVATIVE WHITE NIGGAS) BUT THE WHOLE SHIT TURNED OUT TO BE SOME FUCKIN BULLSHIT BECAUSE:

A) MILEY CYRUS IS A FUCKIN GOOFBALL AND THE BITCH CAN'T EVEN LOOK SEXY WHEN SHE'S SIMULATING SEX ACTS. THIS BITCH LOOKS LIKE A BABY SPARROW FAIRY HAD A BABY BY JUSTIN BIEBER AND THE SHIT IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AWKWARD GROWTH SPURT.

B) NIGGAS ADDED LIKE 8 FUCKBOY NICKELODEON ASS TWISTS TO THE SHIT THAT AIN'T MAKE NO SENSE AND JUST ADDED TO THE GOOFINESS B. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE GIANT TEDDY BEARS AND A NIGGA EATING A MONEY SANDWICH WITH A VERY CORNY EXPRESSION PON HIS FACIAL. GIANT PINATA FULL OF HOT DOGS AND FRENCH FRIES, ALSO PINK GAK. FUCK OUTTA HERE B. THE ONLY WAY YOU COULDA KEPT THOSE THINGS IN THE VIDEO AND REMAINED EDGY WAS IF YOU HAD MILEY AND A TRANNY USING A DOUBLE DONG IN A GROSS WAY. BUT THEY AIN'T DO THAT SO THE SHIT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING TERRY RICHARDSON WOULDA THOUGHT UP IF TERRY RICHARDSON WAS 9 YEARS OLD AND HORNY.


THIS IS A JUST A WARNING FOR YOU NIGGAS THAT HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN THAT ARE PERFORMERS B. IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILD STAR TO DEVELOP INTO AN ADULT STAR DON'T MOVE TO LA. LA IS THE WORLDS TOP EXPORTER OF HIGH FRUCTOSE CORNBALLS AND THEY PRODUCE SHIT LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. WHY YOU THINK JUSTIN BIEBER OUT THERE WEARING ALLADIN PANTS JEANS THAT LOOK LIKE HE TOOK 4 SHITS IN A DIAPER AND MILEY OUT HERE "TWERKING" HER LIL BONELESS SKINLESS CHICKEN BREAST ASS CHEEKS AND DRESSING LIKE A HOMELESS STRIPPER FROM THE FUTURE?? CUZ THEY IN LA.

MOVE YOUR KIDS TO NYC ASAP IF THEY IN THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB RIGHT NOW SO THEY CAN CREATE COOL SHIT AND BE MEDIA DARLINGS. THAT'S YOUR #KNOWLEDGEDART FOR TODAY B.


9 comments:

  1. You said chicken breasts ass cheeks and pink gak..that's hot webb

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why does this look like a Kanye video doe?

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  3. Another great article Mero but I take great offense to the LA slander.

    Nah JK I ain't offended but LA is the entertainment capital. NY in terms of entertainment is for Broadway musicals & Fashion.

    Bieber/diaper reference had me rollin' though.

    Mero you need to move out to LA since it's also the comedy capital... Also LA is 50% Latino, compared to NY which is like 20% Latino. Although ain't really any Dominicans out here but there is a small Dominican community (all mostly from NY).

    There's a "Dominicans in Los Angeles" Facebook page with currently 632 likes (probably from every single Dominican in LA).

    https://www.facebook.com/DominicansLosAngeles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO IM BUSTING BALLS MY GUY LA HAS THAT REPUTATION THO, HOW YOU LIVIN BRUHBRUH?

      Delete
  4. Mero is killin' 'em!

    Keep the hilarious posts coming my g

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank You, Based Mero. Bow I dont wanna be a dick or sound demanding... but I def. Need your review on Yeezus. And LA Native had me rolling with the facrbook likes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I SENT IT IN TO MY EDITOR YESTERDAY IT'S ALL UP TO THEM NOW BRUH, IF THEY DON'T RUN IT I'LL RUN IT HERE.

      BLESS UP

      Delete
  6. Now* I dont wanna

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks, Dependent Mero. Bend I do not will be considered a cock or audio strenuous... however def. Require your own assessment about Yeezus. Along with Chicago Indigenous experienced me personally coming using the facrbook wants.

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    ReplyDelete