LIFE STRUGGLES VI

 

THIS IS SOME JOHN LENNON BULLSHIT B.

YO WHATS GOOD B. I WROTE ABOUT SOME MORE LIFE STRUGGLES THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE FACING MY NIGGA.

MY GIRLFRIEND DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE

YO YOU KNOW WHAT SOMETIMES PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE BRO...IS THAT WHAT YOUR MANS TOLD YOU? "SOMETIMES PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE BRO" ? NIGGA THAT IS FALSE STATEMENTS. WHAT HAPPENED WAS YOU GOT WILD FAT OR YOUR GIRL FINALLY GOT TIRED OF YOU FARTING WHILE YALL SITTING ON THE COUCH WATCHING LAW & ORDER. CAN I JUST HAVE A SIDEBAR REAL QUICK? GOTTA LET YOU NIGGAS KNOW CONSTANT FARTING IS NOT OK UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED AND HAVE AT LEAST 3 KIDS B. YOU CAN'T JUST BE FARTING IN YOUR GIRLS FACE ALL THE TIME B YOUR FARTS SMELL LIKE PICKLES AND CHIPOTLE MAYONAISE DUST. I KNOW WHEN YOU SMELL YOUR OWN FART YOU BE LIKE "EWW, BUT ITS INTERESTING" SO YOU KINDA SMELL IT AGAIN TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT THE SMELL BOUQUET...TO YOUR GIRL THAT SHIT JUST STINKS NIGGA AND IT MAKES HER CLITORIS SHRIVEL LIKE A ORCHID WITHOUT NO WATER DYING IN THE HOT SUMMERS SUN RAYS & SHIT B. REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED FUCKIN WITH THIS BITCH? YOU WOULD HOLD IN FARTS TILL YOUR STOMACH HURTED NIGGA. YOU WOULD HOLD IN FARTS TILL YOU DID THOSE INSIDE FARTS AND MADE YOU FEEL LIKE THE FART WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT YOUR MOUTH. A NIGGA USED TO GO TO A GIRLS HOUSE AND PEE IN THE SINK SO SHE WOULDN'T HEAR YOU PEE. NOW YOU JUST TAKE A SHIT WITH THE DOOR OPEN AND READ ESPN ON YOUR PHONE LIKE SHIT IS SWEET B. LIKE JULIO WITH THE CURLY AFRO AT WORK WON'T JUST SNATCH THAT BITCH UP AND TAKE HER TO SEE AVENTURA WHILE SHE PRETEND SHE AT HER FRIEND HOUSE WATCHING A PRIVATE PRACTICE DVD MARATHON MY NIGGA. SO IF YOU WONDERING WHY YOUR GIRL DON'T LIKE YOU NO MORE YOU NEED TO STOP FARTING EVERYWHERE ALL OVER THE PLACE NIGGA. BE A GENTLEMAN FOR ONCE B AND GO TO THE BATHROOM AND PUT THE SHOWER ON AND GET YOUR FARTS OUT WITH SOME MUTHAFUCKIN DISCRETION NIGGA. OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD BUY SOME VIAGRA SO YOU CAN FUCK YOUR GIRL FOR LONGER THAN ONE PITBULL SONG B. TRY THAT.

MY FAMILY HATES ME

NIGGA IF YOUR FAMILY HATES YOU ONE OF TWO THINGS IS OCCURING. ONE COULD BE THAT YOUR FAMILY IS ASSHOLES AND THE OTHER COULD BE THAT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. YO MA IF YOU ARE A GIRL BUT THEN YOU TOLD YOUR FAMILY "IM A BOY NOW AND MY NAME IS MICAH" THEN MAYBE THAT MIGHT COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THOSE NIGGAS HATING YOUR GUTS TO PIECES BECAUSE YOU COME THRU TO THANKSGIVING AND YOUR GRANDMA IS CRYING THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PRETEND DICK IN YOUR PANTS AND YOU SMUSH YOUR TITTIES DOWN AND HAVE CORNROWS. NAHMEAN IF YOU ARE WHITE AND FROM A CITY YOU PROLLY WON'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE LOVE WEIRD SHIT LIKE NIGGAS PRETENDING TO BE BITCHES AND FAKE DICKS AND PERFORMANCE ART. SHIT LIKE THAT. NAHMEAN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOUR FAMILY IS A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES AND THEY HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND YOU PAY YOUR BILLS & SHIT INSTEAD OF BUYING DRUGS ALL THE TIME. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE I BUY DRUGS BUT I ALSO PAY MY RENT. I DO NOT FORGO PAYING FOR CRUCIAL LIFE EXPENSES SUCH AS LIKE CABLE TELEVISION AND INTERNET SO I COULD WATCH FREE PNO, IN EXCHANGE FOR CRILLZ. IF YOUR FAMILY IS HAVING A MEETING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THEY SHOULD BUY CRILLZ AS OPPOSED TO FOOD TO MAKE MEALS THEN OF COURSE THEY THINK YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE B! YOU PAY $250 MONTHLY TOWARDS THE INTEREST ON YOUR STUDENT LOAN THAT YOU TOOK OUT TO GO TO A PRIVATE COLLEGE. PAYING TO GO TO PRIVATE COLLEGE AND NOT BEING A MINORITY LIKE ME AND GOING FOR FREE IS ALSO AN ASSHOLE MOVE BUT YOU KNOW, IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES B. WHITE PEOPLE NEED TO GO TO COLLEGE AND THE WHITE PEOPLE THAT DON'T GO TO COLLEGE ARE USUALLY GARBAGE MEN OR BREAK UP SHEETROCK FOR MEXICANS TO PICK UP AND BE LIKE "I DO CONSTRUCTION BRO" OR THEY DRIVE A TOW TRUCK AND HAVE TATTOOS AND DRINK BUDWEISER & SHIT LIKE THAT. THOSE IS NOT REAL WHITE PEOPLE. REAL WHITE PEOPLE SIT INSIDE AN OFFICE AND READ VICTORY LIGHT AND MY TWITTER AND RIGHT NOW THEY PROLLY WEARING CLARKS DESERT BOOTS OR ASICS. SHOUT OUT TO YOU WHITE PEOPLE I FUCKS WITH YALL HEAVY. PLEASE DO MY TAXES. YO SO BASICALLY THIS IS A LIFE STRUGGLE THAT YOU CAN END BY JUST BEING LIKE "YO FUCK THESE NIGGAS THO" AND ONLY SEEING THEM WHEN YOUR GRANDMA DIES (SORRY)

I'M A HOARDER

YO NIGGA WHY YOU GOT SO MUCH SHIT IN YOUR CRIB? THIS IS A REAL STRUGGLE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN LAY DOWN TO TAKE A NAP. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF HAVING ALL THESE EMPTY MCDONALDS CUPS MY NIGGA? THEY DON'T EVEN GOT THE MONOPOLY GAME GOIN ON RIGHT NOW AND YOU SUPPOSED TO JUST TAKE THE STICKER OFF THE CUP NIGGA YOU NOT POSED TO KEEP THE WHOLE CUP B. YOU JUST TAKE OFF THE STICKER AND MATCH THEM TOGETHER AND WIN 3 FRENCH FRIES IN A PAPER SLEEVE MY G. YO LISTEN IF YOU A HOARDER YOU NEED TO CHILL BECAUSE THERE IS NOT ANYTHING YOU CAN HOARD THAT WON'T MAKE YOUR WHOLE CRIB SMELL LIKE SHIT. EVEN IF YOU HOARD SCENTED CANDLES NIGGA AND HAVE 849859483093074597 YANKEE CANDLE SHOPPE CANDLES ALL THOSE SCENTS COMBINE TO FORM THE SMELL OF HAITI A WEEK AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE B. IT SMELLS LIKE WILD ASS AND DEAD NIGGAS AND WARTHOG PUSSY SHIT (FEMALE WARTHOGS SHIT FROM OUT THEY PUSSIES)...NAHMEAN EVEN IF YOU JUST HOARD PAPERS NIGGA YOUR WHOLE CRIB WILL STINK AND A BITCH WILL LET YOU KNOW IF YOUR CRIB STINKS AND YOU WONT GET NO TYPE OF PUSSY EVER IN LIFE. IMAGINE BRINGING A BITCH BACK TO YOUR CRIB AND YOU GOT OD AMOUNTS OF CATS? NIGGA LIKE YOU A CAT HOARDER? FIRST OF ALL WHY ARE YOU NOT TERRIFIED OF HAVING ALL THESE CATS B? WHAT IF THOSE NIGGAS REVOLT AND THEY LIKE "LETS KILL THIS NIGGA OUR LIVES SUCKS"...IMAGINE BEING KILLED BY 604 CATS B. NOT ONLY IS THAT EMBARRASSING IT IS ALSO HORRIFYING. THE ONLY WAY TO DIE THAT'S MORE TERRIFYING AND EMBARRASSING IS GETTING RAPED TO DEATH BY ONE OF THEM MINI HORSES. SO BASICALLY IF YOU A HOARDER YOUR LIFE IS A STRUGGLE CUZ YOU CAN'T EVEN ORDER A PIZZA TO YOUR CRIB CUZ THE SHIT IS JUST A WILD SPECTACLE OF FILTH NAHMEAN SO YOU BE WATCHING THAT DOMINO'S PIZZA TRACKER HAVIN A PANIC ATTACK CUZ YOU KNOW EVENTUALLY JULIO IS GONNA DELIVER YOUR PIZZA AND TWEET ABOUT YOUR CRIB LIKE "@JUJUSWAG116 YO THIS NIGGA I JUST DELIVER TO NIGGA HOLE CRIB FILL WIT OD DEAD PARAKEETS YO -____-"...SO YOU NEED TO BE EASY AND JUST PUT GARBAGE IN THE GARBAGE B. I KNOW YOU PROLLY SAW THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER AND THAT'S WHAT MADE YOU BE LIKE "NAH CHILL I CAN'T THROW THIS MICROWAVE OUT EVEN THOUGH IT LIGHTS ON FLAMES WHEN I TURN IT ON" THEN YOU END UP KEEPING EVERYTHING. IF SOME SHIT IS BROKEN AND IS NOT REPAIRABLE YOU NEED TO LET IT GO MY NIGGA. CLEAN YOUR CRIB AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH.

I'M A REALITY TV STAR

WHAT THE FUCK NIGGA THIS IS A STRUGGLE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? REALITY SHOWS ONLY LAST LIKE 2 YEARS. JERSEY SHORE IS POPPIN RIGHT NOW BUT YOU THINK THAT SHIT IS GONNA BE ON TV IN 5 YEARS? HELL NO NIGGA. BEING A REALITY TV STAR IS A STRUGGLE BECAUSE YOU GOTTA DO AS MUCH COMMERCIALS AND SHIT AS POSSIBLE CUZ YOU GOTTA MAXIMIZE YOUR MONEY FLOWS WHILE YOU STILL POPPIN. WHEN YOU NOT POPPIN NO MORE YOU GONNA BE DOING TECHNICAL SCHOOL COMMERCIALS AND NIGGAS WONT EVEN KNOW IF ITS REALLY YOU. THEY'LL BE LIKE "YO...IS THAT...THAT BITCH...YOU KNOW WHAT IM TOMBOUT MY NIGGA? THAT BITCH FROM THAT SHOW!...I THINK IT WAS "DANCING WITH THE BIGGEST LOSER OF LOVE"...NAHMEAN THAT SHIT IS NOT WAVY B. THAT'S WHY I'M JUST TRYNA ATTAIN LONG LASTING FAME WHERE MY SHOW GETS SYNDICATED AND SHIT AND I COULD JUST RELAX ON THE BEACH OR STROLL THROUGH SOHO AND SEE SOME LIL SHADES I LIKE, SHITS WAS LIKE 2500....I BOUGHT EM...YO LISTEN, IF YOU A REALITY TV STAR YOU NEED TO HOLLA AT ME AND I WILL PUT YOU IN TOUCH WITH A FINANCIAL ADVISOR THAT LOOKS LIKE ME BUT IS NOT ME (HE HAS GLASSES ON). HE WILL PUT YOUR MONEY IN SECURE INVESTMENTS THATS DEFINITELY NOT NO TYPE OF PONZI SCHEME AT ALL. IT IS VERY SAFE AND SECURE AND IN 20 YEARS YOU WILL HAVE 50 TIMES WHAT YOU PUT IT BUT YOU JUST CAN'T GET THE MONEY BACK UNTIL I SAY SO...UNTIL THE NIGGA SAYS SO I MEAN. AIGHT?


AIGHT YO HOPEFULLY I HELPED YOU NIGGAS A LIL BIT WITH WHATEVER TYPE OF LIFE STRUGGLES YOU HAVING WITH YASELF. NAHMEAN THESE #KNOWLEDGEDARTS IS VERY VALUABLE YOU'RE WELCOME.